I’ve been reading “Why is my Mother Getting A Tattoo?” by Jancee Dunn
this week. It’s a great book and I’m really enjoying it, but it’s also making me feel, well, a little old. Jancee’s last book, But Enough About Me,
was about her job as a celebrity interviewer for Rolling Stone, MTV2 and a host of other publications. Her new book is about her quirky family and her life at 40. It’s full of funny, slice-of-life stories and its been a blast to read, other then the whole making me feel ancient thing.
I guess partly it’s because Jancee has always been a role model for me. When I was working as a music writer it was on a much smaller scale than her, but I dreamed about one day reaching her level. When she wrote her first book it made me remember that time in my life and it made me realize how much of what I wanted to achieve I actually had. But now, as I creep through my 30s and closer to 40, I realize that my life and Jancee’s are sort of similar.
She may have my dream job writing for O Magazine now (that girl really is living my fantasy life), but she is also caught up in all sorts of funny family drama. My family is dysfunctional on a much different level, but reading her stories has made me realize that suddenly my dream isn’t to be the next Nick Kent (or Jancee Dunn) anymore. I still want to publish my novel, write a health book and travel the world, but my youthful dreams are just that – youthful.
These days I’m starting to look through life with a mid-life lens. I’m still hoping not to become my mother, but I’m not fighting it tooth and black-laquered nail the way I used to. And I’m going through that same struggle Jancee talks about in her book as she tries to decide if she really wants to completely transform her life by having a baby. I have had those exact same thoughts and arguments myself – they seem to be part and parcel with making it to your 30s and not having procreated. But it still makes me a little sad to think that I’m getting older. I don’t feel especially old (well, except when the youngins at my office look at me blankly when I name-check the things I loved as a kid), but it’s hard not to feel older.
Maybe I need to cleanse my pallet with a little Twilight after this book or something. Of course, the goth in me still dies inside a little every time I see a vampire glitter in the sun, so maybe not.
Jancee's MTV2 blooper reel - so cute: