I started training for my upcoming 5Ks, I admit that I was nervous but
hopeful. I figured there would be some tough periods, but that if I just
kept at it I’d get better. So far, that hasn’t really been the case.
Granted, I haven’t been running as much as I’ve meant to – partly
because of my busy schedule, but partly because it tends to go so badly
when I do try it. I have yet to crack 2K and I’ve been training for
months. Oh, and that’s 2K of intervals, so I’m not even running the whole time at this stage.
know that the weather is a factor. It's been extremely hot in Toronto
this summer and the heat and humidity are not great for running. I've also learned that my family has a history of difficulty running –
asthma and other breathing conditions are common - and my mom is convinced
this is part of the problem, especially with the humidity. I’m sure those things are factoring in,
but I’ve also realized something else – I hate running.
didn’t want to hate it – in fact, I wanted to love it. I wanted to be
one of those people that gets an endorphin high when they run, someone
you see jogging happily by and bouncing up and down at a stop light. I
wanted to get pretty running outfits and meet other people for running
dates. I pictured doing races with friends, joining a Running Room club,
maybe getting a dog to run with at some point. I did not picture hating
it. Or loathing it. Or wanting to never, ever, ever, run again.
that’s sort of where I’m at. I have a few cute running outfits, but I
hate putting them on. I hate knowing that I will come home a hot, sweaty
mess no matter how short my run. I hate dodging pedestrians and I hate
that they can hear me coming up behind them because I’m panting so
loudly even I can hear myself over my iPod. I hate that feeling of burning in
my chest, like I can’t breathe and I hate feeling like a failure when I walk by all those other people who are actually running.
listened to the continuing support of my amazing friends and family
(including a huge cheering section on Twitter), I’ve spent time at the
Running Room making sure I have the right shoes and equipment, I’ve
experimented with playlists and running apps and all the things that
have been recommended. And I’ve run. And run. And run. And I still hate
there’s a corner that I’ll turn at some point and I’ll realize that
running really is the sport for me. But for now I feel like once these
5Ks are done I’m going back to the things I really love. I’ll be
strength-training, dancing and doing yoga again. I’ll P90X on a more consistent basis, because I really love their kempo and plyo workouts,
and I’ll walk a lot more. I don’t see a lot of running in my future,
but you never know.
think what I’ve learned from this is that not every sport is for
everyone. I have so many friends and family members who love to run –
and I will continue to support them in that. But to paraphrase
Bruce Springsteen, ‘baby, I wasn’t born to run.’